I think I'm starting to see a pattern here

Everything seems to be fine. I'm eating well under my calorie limit (I set myself up at 2100). I think I'm doing well, then BAM. I need to go to bed, I get a rush of "go-to-sleep" anxiety, and I end up overclocking myself at 2200-2400 calories. Instantly. 

I'm not even necessarily hungry. Perhaps I'm worried? I do remember when I was younger, I would always associate going to sleep with some anxiety. I remember feeling intensely worried. I remember sitting in the corner of my childhood house and crying at the age of 5, crying that I was lonely. My parents would see this, try to comfort me, and I guess they would take me out to McDonalds or something to make me feel better.

Perhaps... perhaps there is some psychological attachment to food at night right before bed. I think I associate food with settling my nerves before I sleep. That's probably it.

My childhood self comes out at night, becomes very anxious, and becomes lonely at night. When I'm lonely, I feed myself to make me feel loved like how my parents made me feel when they would bring me to McDonalds at night time.

It's so strange how psychology works. I think this awareness will allow me to gain better control over my eating habits.

I will probably try to retire to bed earlier instead of stay in the living room and the kitchen for lengthened amounts of time after work. That will be my first intervention.

Moment of Gratitude: I am thankful for my friend. I love my boyfriend, don't get me wrong, but there's just something amazing about having a platonic friend that just gets it, ya know? This used to be my friend Jensine, but she has moved to the far away land of Portland, and seems to be replaced with my friend Rose. We are on the same path weight loss wise, deal with very similar mental struggles, and she's rocking it. Like, almost 10 lbs lost on Noom. That's so kick-ass. I'm grateful that I can have a person to reflect off of during times of struggle like this.