Happy Brain, Happy Body

 I am definitely going to start working at 7AM. I tried to workout in the evening recently and it just did not work. My secret weapon? This melatonin pill. 2.5mg of this and it seems like I'm about to knock out. I'm going to try waking up at about 7:30AM tomorrow, which should equate to a little over eight hours of sleep. The workout? Probably cardio. Actually, definitely cardio. I'm likely going to limit my workouts to Saturday morning so I have the entire day to warm up. Have you ever tried to lift weights when you're half-asleep with no food in your belly? Not fun. I'm definitely going to pull a muscle if I keep working out that way. That being said, off to bed. Wish me luck!

 It's the strangest thing. I am not necessarily hungry, but if I don't feel full, I don't feel good. It's like I need to feel like I'm giving birth to a food baby in order to allow myself to feel any kind of happiness. Honestly, I don't get it. I should probably spend some time doing some introspection to see what that's all about. I know that I have an emotional attachment to food. But not only that, I have an emotional attachment to eating, sharing food, having people eat what I cook or eat what I buy, etc. I feel very wronged when someone doesn't eat what I cook or buy. Like, I get resentful. And I don't know where this is all coming from. I was supposed to be done eating for the day, but I just HAD to eat this package of noodles. It's like 560 calories mind you, which is a ton of calories when you're trying to cut down. I was so aware of myself opening the package and putting on the stove, but it's like, no matter how much I tell myse...

 I have tried practically every trick in the book to lose weight, but it just ain't working. I'm the biggest I have ever been, and I'm starting to feel it now. At least when I was 18 and 210+ lbs I had the youth to hold me up, but now my joints and my knees are starting to hurt at 28. I know something has got to change. I am hoping that by starting this blog, I am going to keep myself effing accountable. It's public too, so I'm sorry if you're reading all these and you're like, "dang, this guy is a psycho. and he does typos galore" Honestly, this is a public diary. Makes me feel heard. And it allows me to get all my thoughts down on a medium without worrying about my wrist cramping from physically writing on paper. I've also felt like I did better when I was able to reflect on blogs. Probably because I've had a computer practically my entire life. Writing felt... limiting. and silly. Like I can only talk to myself and that's it. But wit...