Well I'm definitely not a night person anymore

 I ended up going out to the bars last night. My boyfriend was texting that he was feeling lonely sitting at a bar, so I decided to go out. It was a gay bar in Seattle with shit-tons of shoulder-to-shoulder people, as is usual on Friday nights.

It was a bear bar, meaning lots of thick people, facial hair, and ravenous eyes.

I entered the bar and I did feel like a snack, which lowkey made me feel super good but also super uncomfortable. Isn't it funny how that works? One moment I'm so depressed and I want to feel attractive, and the next I'm considered really attractive but I really want to just be left alone. 

Long story short, the night ended with us meeting two new people. There were five of us total, and we didn't get home until about 2AM.

I was actually quite surprised I wasn't as grumpy as I used to be when I would stay up. Maybe that's growth? But perhaps that one hour nap I took last evening helped as well.

I am also so so proud of myself because all I had was half a drink and no food. I already told Allen that I was done for the day so he would need to help me, but I really didn't need to do much of anything. Plus I got some dancing and walking in so I'm sure that helped with burning a ton of calories.

That's probably why the scale dropped so much today - 212.4 lbs! What a nice dip.

I also want to reformat my morning blogs. I was watching some inspirational videos yesterday and I decided that I needed to rethink my daily goals.

If I'm goal-oriented throughout the day, that means I'll always think about improving and moving forward, and that's what will make me successful. And it will be in the format of: daily affirmations, who do I want to be today, what do I want to feel today, and one goal I MUST accomplish today.

Also, this blog will be moving to an official .COM spot! I figured I should just make it official. I blog practically every day already, so might as well get off this free space.

Daily affirmations: I am a strong, confident, and very powerful person. I have control over my life and over my future because I have such powerful intentions. I may not be where I want to be yet, but I've made HUGE strides toward my goals and I'm definitely a lot better than I used to be. I'm very proud of the person that I have become and I will even more proud once I'm the person I want to be.

Who do I want to be today?: Today, I want to be a caregiver for myself. I've went out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and potentially again today and Sunday, so I need to set some time for myself so I can recover from all the socializing. I need to be the adult for myself today and nurse my mental health back to what it needs to be. This will mean cleaning, getting some rest, some time alone to reflect, and maybe some time to play video games.

What do I want to feel today?: I want to feel... calm. Collected. Rested. Rejuvenated. I want to feel in tip-top shape for next week. I want to feel content and not feel so stressed. Yes, calm is the right word.

One goal I MUST accomplish today: I must clean my computer area. The clutter is driving me nuts and if I can have a cleaner area, that means I would be more focused, and I think my energies would just flow better.

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