So like, why is it so hard to control my eating?

 It's the strangest thing. I am not necessarily hungry, but if I don't feel full, I don't feel good. It's like I need to feel like I'm giving birth to a food baby in order to allow myself to feel any kind of happiness.

Honestly, I don't get it. I should probably spend some time doing some introspection to see what that's all about. I know that I have an emotional attachment to food. But not only that, I have an emotional attachment to eating, sharing food, having people eat what I cook or eat what I buy, etc. I feel very wronged when someone doesn't eat what I cook or buy.

Like, I get resentful. And I don't know where this is all coming from.

I was supposed to be done eating for the day, but I just HAD to eat this package of noodles. It's like 560 calories mind you, which is a ton of calories when you're trying to cut down. I was so aware of myself opening the package and putting on the stove, but it's like, no matter how much I tell myself "don't eat it!", it's just not worth it to me to say no to myself.

Perhaps the best thing I can do is instead of not eating samyang noodles at all, perhaps I should just cut down. Or treat myself once or twice a week. Perhaps I should eat these noodles every Saturday so that I get my "fix" for the week.

I dunno. Let's give it a shot.

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